Hidden lies
by A.Ham1776
Summary: Haruhi has been harboring many secrets from the host club but when Kyoya gets a little too worried and curious he starts discovering her secrets that have been kept for so long. Trigger-warning: Self-Harm, Physical abuse, possible main character death
1. Chapter 1

A/N: this takes place while they are at the beach and they haven't ever seen Haruhi's house

Haruhi

I looked around my room, trying to decide what to pack for the clubs beach trip. We had recently went to a resort of Kyoya's and I did not enjoy it. I spent most of the time sitting overheated in the shade. That is until Honey got lost and I ended up with Mori trying to find him. The twins thought it would be fun for us all to go to the beach together to make it up to me for not having a good time. I decided to just bring a few long sleeves, a pullover sweater, some jeans as well as a pair of longer shorts and a tee shirt. I put them into my oversized bag. I put in some pajamas, as well as my laptop, that was a gift from my friend. I looked at my stuffed bear and decided to bring him as well. I shoved all my makeup and other essentials into my bag before grabbing my bear.

He is what my safety or comfort item. I gave him a hug and set him carefully in the bag. I hurried to get dressed, throwing on a dark purple jumper and white jeans. I put my bag over one shoulder and hurried to catch a bus to school. The club agreed to meet in music room #3 before all riding together. I walked down the road, waving to people every once and awhile. I reached the bus just in time and payed before getting on. I took my regular seat and looked out the window, watching the scenery blur past. My thoughts weren't really on any particular thing but rather jumping from thing to thing. Ultimately my thoughts settled on the host club and how they had somehow managed to earn my trust. I don't know how they did it... But I trust them more then I have trusted anyone in years. Before I knew it we were close to school. I took a deep breath, quickly smoothing out my jumper and dusting off my pants and then walked the rest of the way to the building and straight to the music room.

I opened the door and got the usual host club greeting before they realized it was just me.

"Haru-chan!" Honey said running over and jumping on me, hugging my tightly. I bit my lip, biting back a pained squeak as honey landed on a bruise on my arm.

"Hi senpi. You look cute." I said to him. His eyes lit up. He was in a pair of swim trunks and a tee shirt that was to big. He was also holding a pink swim ring.

"Thanks!" He said with a giggle before running over to Mori.

"Haruhi you look so adorable! Not exactly swim attire but adorable either way!" Tamaki practically yelled as he scooped me up.

"Senpi!" I shouted. I know I shouldn't still be surprised but he set me down. I brushed myself off.

"Well, let's go. I want to go to the beach!" The twins said, attached to each other like usual. Hikaru was standing behind Kaoru, with his arms wrapped around him.

Kyoya lead us all to a large limo that was waiting out front and everyone climbed in. Tamaki offered me his hand to help me in and I took it, thanking him and sitting next to him and Kyoya.

"Do you guys mind if I try to get a few minutes of sleep? I only slept an hour last night." I asked timidly.

"Of course. We want you to be well rested to care for our guests." Kyoya said, not looking up from his laptop.

I sighed, of course we will be working.

I leaned back and started drifting to sleep.

Dream

I opened my eyes and I was back in the hospital looking at my mom. The white walls and the slow, consistent beeping of the heart monitor were driving me to the brink of insanity.

"Haruhi... I need to tell you a terrible thing..." She said taking my hand in hers weakly. She looked into my eyes and I could see only pain in hers as she gave my hand a small, comforting squeeze.

"It seems that I'm sick and I've only got weeks." She said, biting her lip. I shook my head.

'This can't be true... I need you here with me... Please don't leave me alone here...' I thought

"No... Mom, you can't leave me... Please don't leave me alone here, I'm not ready!" I said, giving her hand a small squeeze as I cried, hot tears slipping down my cheeks.

"Please don't be sad haruhi... You are the greatest thing that ever happened to me." She said. I hugged her, my tears soaking her hospital gown.

"I love you mom..." I said, the noise muffled by the fabric.

"I love you too haruhi."

I went home to an empty house that night. Little did I know it was going to stay that way. My mom passed away that night, way sooner than they would have expected. All I had left was my dad. If you can even call him that.

Tamaki

I noticed Haruhi shut her eyes and leaned back into the seat. Her breathing evened out and she became relaxed.

I was about to say something to Kyoya about the trip when Haruhi shifted so she was leaning into me, her head leaning on my shoulder with her face turned into me.

I froze, not sure what to do but I made no attempt to move her. Instead I gently shifted her so she would be more comfortable. The drive was relatively quiet until about a hour before we got there.

Haruhi's whole body tensed and she started breathing faster. She moved so her face was buried in my neck. I felt a warm tear hit my skin and I gently shook her.

The small movements woke her up slightly.

She wasn't crying anymore but her face was still damp.

She snuggled up to me and started to drift off again. I ran my fingers gently through her hair in a comforting manner.

Everyone was looking at Haruhi with sadness and confusion.

Luckily she slept peacefully the rest of the drive.


	2. Chapter 2

Haruhi

"You know? You can never truly know everything about a person. Everyone has secrets" I said to Kyoya, who was sitting beside me on the beach.

"Do you have any secrets Haruhi?" He asked me, looking at me with curious eyes.

I felt anxiety, panic and fear well up in my chest but I let none of it show. My mask stood strong as I looked him in the eyes.

"Of course I do, everyone does. But my secrets... aren't what you would ever expect. I will tell you all eventually but I know now isn't the right time. Do you have any secrets senpai?"

I asked, fiddling with my hands as I avoided eye contact.

"Well sort of... you see whenever I see you I can't help but think 'Wake up'" he said, I tilted my head slightly at his strange words.

"Wake up?" I asked confused.

"Haruhi wake up." I heard him say again and suddenly I wasn't alone with Kyoya anymore. Actually, where was I? I pulled away from whatever I was clinging onto and I saw Kyoya looking down at me. I am still so sleepy that there was still a blur in my vision and fuzziness in my brain.

"Good morning Haruhi. We are here." He said and I noticed that 1) we are parked in front of a huge house and 2) everyone else was gone.

I stretched and looked at him.

"Thank you senpai. I am sorry I slept on you, it must of been really uncomfortable." I said, avoiding his eyes.

He gave me a polite nod.

"It was no problem, you looked very comfortable." He said, giving me a small, half smile.

"Well thanks senpai." I said, climbing out and following him into the large, beautiful house.

I always forget how kind Kyoya can be when he wants to. The others were already inside talking about who got what room and when we all agreed we all went into our respective rooms to settle in. My room was next to Kyoya senpai's and across from Hikaru and Kaoru's room.

I sat down on my bed and opened up my bag, grabbing a thin long sleeve and slipping it on, refusing to look down at my cut and bruised skin. I slipped on a sweatshirt that was 2 sizes too big on top. Lately I have been "growing". I am getting kind of large in some areas, if you will. I sighed and grabbed the phone that the twins bought for me and punched in the one number I know by heart.

"Tamotsu?" I asked when I heard him pick up, my heart racing in anticipation of hearing the oh so familiar voice.

"Haruhi! Darling, it's been so long. How are you?" I smiled. He is so excitable sometimes. Luckily some things never change.

"I am okay. I am at the beach near your home and I was wondering if you wanted to go for a walk with me. I need to clear my head." I said, holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder as I started through my bag, looking for my computer.

"I would love to! There is a big rock on the beach, I'll meet you there in 10?" He asked and I could practically hear his smile.

"Sounds good. I will see you soon." I said, hanging up and setting my phone down.

I slipped on my black jeans and a blue belt. and walked down stairs, attempting to get out unnoticed but failed.

"Hey Haruhi, where are you going?" Honey asked, running up to me.

"I am going for a walk." I said, looking down at the short blond who was looking at me excitedly.

"That's a good idea! Let's go for a walk!" He said and everyone started agreeing, but I put up my hands.

"I was going to go alone actually..." I said and they all stopped to look at me. "I am meeting up with an old friend."

"Oh..." Honey said sadly, his big blue eyes looking up at me.

"Well at least change first. You are going to get a heat stroke." Kyoya said, looking over my long shirt and pants.

"I'll be fine. It may be sunny but it isn't overly hot." I said walking out the door, shutting out their protests.

I shoved my hands in my pockets as I walked to the beach and saw Tamotsu sitting by the rock, looking at the water.

I walked up and he saw me, standing up and giving me a light hug.

"Haruhi, look at you. Just as beautiful as when I last saw you." He said, moving his hand to my hair.

I smiled and laughed.

"Thank you kind sir. Shall we walk?" I asked, holding out my arm.

He nodded and looped his arm with mine.

We walked in silence for a while before we started talking about serious topics.

"So Haruhi, how are you really? You know you can't lie to me." I sighed. It's true, I have never been able to lie to Tamotsu.

"I'm so tired. I'm just so tired. I feel like I've been awake for 4 days and I don't feel like I'm here. I feel like I'm drunk, Like I've had three wines and shots and beer and I'm tired and ready to go home and I can't talk to anyone because I've forgotten how I usually talk. I don't even look like me. Everything is so wrong and weird and scary. I honestly think I'm going mad. I can't stop crying. I've got such a bad headache. I just don't know how to say what is going on but I've just constantly felt like not just drunk but blind. You know when you're hammered and everything's really bright and you can't remember how to talk properly and you're not really taking anything in cause you feel really weird and you can touch things and see things and talk to people but you're not really There. But here's the thing; I'm alive. I can breathe. I can eat and talk and sleep and see and feel. So I should be okay. And objectively, I am fine So why am I not? It's one of those things that I keep thinking about over and over to the point where my head is like is this really happening. I genuinely genuinely think I've gone mad and I don't know if I'm ever going to see things like normal again." *

When I looked back at him he was looking at me with a look I didn't recognize. Before I could speak he pulled me into a hug.

"It will be okay." he said quietly.

"And on top of it all I have to hid everything from the host club… I really want to tell them but I can't because of how many people could get hurt if I do… I want to leave Tamotsu… I can't keep living with him. He leaves every morning to work and then he gets drunk… do you realize how many scars and bruises from that man? I am so scared that one day he is going to kill me… or worse… someone very precious to me…"

We started walking back, still talking. I told him about school and the hosts, accidentally telling him about how I feel about Kyoya. We got to the mansion and I paused, biting my lip.

"He beat the hell out of me when I told him I was going away for a night with the Host club. I think I am going to move out when I get back…" I said, looking down at my feet.

"Where are you going to go?" He asked, turning and looking at me. I shook my head sadly.

"I don't know… probably a local homeless shelter until I find somewhere…"

"Oh… You can always see if you can live with one of the hosts…" he said to me, his voice holding a pleading note.

"I'll ask…"

"Just remember Haruhi… Family is all you got. Weather it is the family you were born with-" He pointed at the mansion and continued "- or the family you create, in the end… Family are the only one's who will be by your side until the end."

"I know… I know… And the truth is they are the ONLY family I have left. And I am terrified to lose them…"

"Listen to me Haruhi. Whether you like it or not those boys are ALL you have left. I get that you are scared and I won't lie to you, they might leave you, they might hurt you but so might ANYONE! You can't let fear control you. And what do you always say? Faith can move mountains. It is time you took your own advice, unless you have faith in them enough to tell them the truth then things will stay exactly the same. So please… at least tell Kyoya."

I nodded.

"I'll tell him tonight…"

"Thank you…" He said, pulling me into a tight hug.

I pulled away and gave him a small nod before heading inside.

 ** _*This was a quote(s) from a video Dodie Clark made, I altered it a small bit._**


	3. Chapter 3

Haruhi

When I walked in I was greeted with the sight of Honey doing a puzzle on the floor with Mori, the twins snuggling on the couch and watching T.V., Kyoya sitting by the window and typing (Still!) on his computer and Tamaki reading a book.

"Hey, guys." I said, gaining their attention.

"Daughters back!" Tamaki cried, setting his book down and running towards me.

"Please Senpai, I don't feel very well." I said, shying away from his touch.

I needed to go lay down and draw or write for a little bit. After telling Tamotsu everything I was past emotional exhaustion and I need a release.

"I'm going to my room if that's okay…."

"Oh… That's fine. Walk tired you out a bit?" He asked and I nodded, giving him a small hug before waving to everyone else and heading to my room. I went over to my bag and grabbed out my sketchbook and pencils. I opened to my most recent drawing and lay down on my stomach.

I am almost done with my drawing. It is a large hourglass with a girl kneeling in the base, slamming their hands onto the glass as water falls from the top, the water already up to her stomach. The girl in the drawing looks a lot like me, all the people in my drawings do.

I sat for a while, lost in my drawing until I was pulled from it by a knock on my door. I shut my notebook.

"Come in." I called. The door creaked open and Honey popped his head in.

"Haru-chan… I was wondering if you wanted to cook dinner with me… I need help." His sweet voice made me smile.

"Of course Senpai." I said, standing up and following the small boy downstairs. Everyone was in the living room and I followed Honey into the big kitchen. I went over to the sink and washed my hands.

"What do you want to make?" I asked, grabbing a small towel and drying my hands on it before tucking it into my belt.

"Uhm… I don't know. To be honest I don't really cook…" He said, playing with the hem of this shirt. I gave a small laugh and went over to him.

"How about this, you leave the cooking to me and go hang out with Mori and the others?" I said, he looked up at me.

"Are you sure Haru-chan?" He asked and I nodded. He hugged me and ran out of the kitchen.

I smiled and started looking around the kitchen for ingredients and was excited to find the kitchen was full of amazing and fresh ingredients. It was 5:23 so I had some time to cook. I rolled up my sleeves and looked up a few recipes before jumping into to my work.

 **Kyoya**

At about 8:30 Haruhi came out of the kitchen.

"I made dinner." She said with a smile.

"Wow, Haruhi-"

"-Thank you!" The twins said.

"What did my darling daughter make?" Tamaki asked.

"Oh, I made Miso soup with mussels, Tofu with crab sauce, Chirashi sushi, Miso glazed black cod with sautéed broccoli and Yuzu crème brûlée."

Tamaki ran over and hugged her, lifting her up with tears in his eyes.

"You didn't have to do all of that for us! You are so amazing, I can't believe we have such an amazing princess!" I held back a laugh at the look on her face.

"Tamaki, will you please put her down?" I asked and he blushed, setting her down.

"Would you like to help to serve?" I offered and she nodded, going into the kitchen.

Following after her I noticed how amazing the room smelt. She had the food laid out beautifully on the counter. She was on her tiptoes grabbing down dishes.

I walked over and set my hand on her shoulder before getting them for her with ease and handing them to her.

"Thank you senpai." She said, carrying them out of the kitchen and to the dining space. I grabbed the big bowl of Miso soup and carried it out as well. Everyone was already sitting at the table and began serving themselves as soon as they were given their bowls.

We went and grabbed the rest of the dishes as well. I saw a smile on Haruhi's face and it faded when she looked at me. She walked over and stood in front of me.

"Um… Senpai, can I talk to you tonight…?" She asked, avoiding looking at my face.

"Sure. Let's talk after dinner." I said and got my bowl, taking a seat as well.

Haruhi followed suit and soon all of us were eating peacefully. Conversations flowed around the table as everyone enjoyed the homemade meal. My eyes kept wandering to Haruhi. She was slightly quieter than the rest, only talking when she was spoken to directly and keeping her eyes trained on the dish in front of her.

'I hope she is okay… she seems depressed…' I thought, taking a small bite and turning to Tamaki instead. Dinner finished around 9:30 and people started excusing themselves to their room after bringing their dishes to the kitchen. When I excused myself I noted that only Haruhi, Honey and Mori remained.

I walked up to my room and decided to shower. I grabbed my gray sleepwear and walked into the bathroom, setting them on the counter before starting the water. I stripped off my clothes and folded them, setting them in a neat pile next to the other articles. I took off my glasses and set them down as well before stepping into the hot water.

The water was very soothing on my aching muscles. I shut my eyes and let the water cascade over me. I couldn't stop thinking about what Haruhi might want to talk to me about. I grabbed the bottle of shampoo and lathered it through my hair I became overwhelmed by a sense of urgency.

I rinsed my hair quickly and stepped out, drying my body with the fluffy white towel before doing the same to my clothes and getting into my sleepwear.

I then made my way to Haruhi's room and knocked on the door but got no response.

I cracked the door open slightly but she wasn't in there. Maybe she is still downstairs.

I walked down the stairs and sure enough Haruhi was there. She was standing by the front door and putting on her shoes.

"Haruhi? Where are you going? It is dark." She gasped and spun around to face me.

"Oh, Kyoya-Senpai. I was going for a walk… I usually run to clear my head but I am not feeling well enough to run right now." She said, running her fingers through her hair on the back of her head.

"It is dark, that isn't safe. I can't let you go." I said. She frowned.

"What if you come with me? You might like it, the cold air is very exhilarating and the sky is always so pretty at night." I thought about it and looked at her face. I sighed.

"Let me go change first…" I said, earning a smile from her.

"Sounds good." With her words I went back upstairs to my room and grabbed out a pair of jeans and a tee shirt with a coat.

I went back down stairs but Haruhi was no longer in front of the door. I felt panic rise in the pit of my stomach before seeing the porch light on and realizing that she could be outside all ready.

I opened the door and sure enough Haruhi was sitting on the front porch. I sat next to her.

"You ready Haruhi?" I said, and she looked at me with a small smile.

"Ready as I'll ever be." She said and I stood up, offering her my hand. She grabbed my hand with her smaller one and lifted herself up, dropping my hand when she was standing.

I heard her take a shaky breath and we started walking. We walked in silence for a while, and I was staring at the water when Haruhi started talking.

"Next week is my birthday." She said randomly. I looked at her and she was looking down, hands in her pockets.

"I know."

"Can I ask you a favor?" She asked, finally bringing her eyes to look at me.

"Of course."

"Don't celebrate my birthday. Don't even tell me happy birthday…" she said, biting her bottom lip. I've noticed she does that when she is anxious.

"All right… but may I ask why?"

"I stopped celebrating my birthday when I was 10. It used to be a happy day but now it's… it's not." I stayed quiet, hoping she would continue.

"When I was young, my parents would fight a lot. When I brought it up to my friends at school they all assured me that it was normal and all parents fight. But my dad would always get out of control and hit my mum. It happened a lot, I always went in my room to try and block out the screaming and the crys. When I was 6 my dad started to treat me the same as my mom. He would push me around and hit me if I didn't behave but I thought it was normal. He always told me it was normal and if kids didn't behave they were punished. And I believed him. On the night before my 10th birthday I heard mom and dad yelling down stairs. It was worse than usual, my mom was begging my dad to stop so I snuck down to see what was going on. My dad had a kitchen knife and my mom was on the floor crying for him to put it down. He yelled at her to shut up but she didn't and he took the knife and stabbed her in the chest… after that he just… went to his room. I ran to my mom and asked if she was okay but she wasn't answering. I didn't know what to do so I did what I normally do when I have nightmares. I layed down next to her and hugged her. The next morning my dad woke up and started yelling about how this could happen and that we had to get rid of her. I don't think I will ever forget it… he made me help him take my mom out to an empty lot and burn her. Then he went to file a missing person's report while I cleaned up all the blood and burned our clothes and the cleaning rags. That's how I spent my 10th birthday…" she said and all I could do is stare at her in shock. I was practically shaking with anger as I imagined little Haruhi burning the body of her dead mother that her monster of a father killed. I took a deep breath.

"Haruhi… does your father still hit you." I asked, trying to keep my voice calm and stoic. She didn't answer me. I was about to ask again when I noticed her taking off her coat. She took a deep breath and slid off her shirt as well, leaving her in just her bra. I looked away, unsure of what she was doing until it clicked. I turned to her and looked at her. Her back was littered with bruises and cuts in a bunch of different sizes and stages of healing. Her arms had light bruises in the shape of hand marks and her wrist were littered with little cuts up to her elbows.

I forced my eyes away from her and pulled her into a gentle hug, terrified of hurting her further.

"I am so sorry… we should have noticed something was wrong." I felt her let out a sob and it made me feel like crying. I pulled away and carefully helped her put her shirt on before picking her up gently like one would a newborn baby and wrapped her coat around her before walking home.

"Kyoya…"

I looked down at her and saw her face was buried in my neck.

"Yes?"

"Thank you…" she muttered and I felt her breathing even out.

We got back to the mansion and I took her into my room, laying her on my bed and climbing in next to her, not even bothering to change.

I put my arms around her and she snuggled close to me. I kissed her head and soon fell asleep myself.


	4. Chapter 4

Kyoya

'I just don't understand… How could something like this happen…' I thought, looking at Haruhi's sleeping form. She looks so peaceful… it was currently about 2 am and I just couldn't seem to fall asleep. My mind was racing and my heart aching as I tried to imagine what Haruhi was going through to leave her with such nasty scars.

She always acts so happy and carefree… I don't understand… I was pulled from my thoughts by Haruhi snuggling close to me.

I looked at her and remembered we are both in our normal clothing.

I carefully got up and changed myself before grabbing a shirt of mine and a pair of my grey sweats. I walked into the bathroom and grabbed some gauze as well as some healing cream.

I set them down on the small mahogany table by the head of the bed before gently trying to wake Haruhi.

She let out a small yawn and sat up, rubbing her eyes with her hands in cute little fists.

"Haruhi… you fell asleep in your clothes. I was wondering if you would let me clean you up a little bit and then you can change into something more comfortable." I said and her tired eyes drifted to the contents of the table.

"If you want to… you don't have to or anything." She said quietly and I smiled.

"Of course I want to. Come here." I gently helped her stand up and guided her to the bathroom.

"Here, sit on the countertop. I'll go get my things." I hurried out of the room and grabbed everything before meeting her back in the bathroom.

"Haruhi, can you take off your shirt so I can put this on you… it is a cream that helps heal bruises…" I explained to her, my face feeling warm due to the maddening blush on my cheeks.

She nodded and grabbed the hem of her shirt.

"Kyoya…? I just wanted to warn you… it is pretty bad… I am sorry I'm not stronger… just please don't let this change your view of me." She said, her breathing uneven and her eyes cast down.

"Haruhi… you are so strong to even be alive… I don't know what I would do in your situation. You are amazing." I said and she smiled softly. She carefully pulled off her shirt and I could see her torso and arms better since we are in a lighted room and not the moonlight outdoors.

I bit my lip, looking at the bruises and small cuts on her stomach and sides. My eyes stopped on a large cut on her side, mind reeling while I tried to think how she got it. I paused before mentally forced myself to stop thinking about it and focus on task in front of me. I took the cap off the bruise cream, squeezing a small amount onto the top of my fingers and shivering at it's cold temperature. I rubbed the cream between my fingers to heat it up before gently setting his them on a bruise on her upper arm. She let out a short, pained hiss and laid her head on my shoulder. I was barely ghosting my fingers along her soft skin, scared of hurting her. I continued putting the cool clean in her bruises.

"I usually take care of all this on my own… it is nice having someone else…" she muttered, her voice sounding slow and heavy with sleep. Her words took me slightly by surprise.

"Don't worry… you have me and the other hosts to care for you now. You will never have to be alone again." I replied, focusing now on her back.

"Kyoya…?"

"Yes Haruhi?"

"I think I am going to leave… I am going to move into the homeless shelter a few miles from my home. I can't let him keep hurting me… there is something else…" she muttered and I saw her eyes start to water. I held my breath. How can this possibly get any worse…? I gently helped her into my oversized panama shirt.

"What is it Haruhi…? You can trust me…" I said, making my voice as calm and soft as possible.

"About a year ago my dad got laid off. He found another job but it didn't pay as well, so we were struggling for money… I offered to get a job but he told me he had a different plan that would make me more money. Then one night he pulled me aside and told me he had a small group of people over. He handed me a silky purple dress and told me to change into it and then come join them for dinner. I came out and there was 2 men sitting at the table with my dad. He explained to me that I am theirs for the night. I was really confused at first but then I found out what he meant…" she was sobbing at this point, her whole body shaking violently. My mind was frozen. She can't possibly mean they… they couldn't… they…

I have seen Haruhi cry but I have never seen her in full on hysterics like this. I pulled her to me and held her tight.

I was crying as well, softly telling her it is okay. She calmed after about 45 minutes but she was still shaking.

"kyoya… that wasn't the only time… it became a normal thing and one time they weren't careful enough and… Kyoya… one of them got me pregnant…" she said. I froze, my eyes wide and my hands gripping her arms. And started crying again and muttering "I'm sorry… I'm weak…" over and over again. I held her close to me, and soon she fell asleep. I carefully picked her up and carried her to the bed. I put her into a pair of my sweatpants so she would be more comfortable before laying her gently under the covers. I climbed in next to her and pulled her to me. I wrapped my arms around her and silently swore to never let her go.


End file.
